Did you know that the “post-wedding blues” affect the majority of newlyweds? Many sources claim that after all the preparation and excitement for the wedding and honeymoon, some couples want the “fairy tale” to go on. The couple is in the happiest of marriages and deeply in love. The downtime follows that. The celebration and honeymoon are over. It takes time to return to a “normal” situation in your life. The culmination of all of this is the beginning of a new life together. Here are some “Tips for Couples” to help you succeed in avoiding some of the “blues” and to have a successful relationship.
The main cause of arguments in relationships is money. Talk about money before you even get married. It will be challenging to talk about how to manage your finances jointly because you are both used to spending your money in your way. Establish the guidelines you want to follow, such as who is responsible for paying the bills and when. Additionally, having a joint checking account can make things run more smoothly.
Savings are necessary. Emergencies can and do arise. Make an effort to limit your debt. Stress from having too much debt might worsen relationship problems. Respect and uphold those guidelines. Spend nothing without first consulting each other. Establish both short- and long-term financial objectives (student loans, retirement, buying a home, travel, etc.) Most importantly, work together!
Communicate, Communicate, And Communicate. Instead of putting off crucial matters and hoping they go away, deal with them immediately. Resentment is likely to develop and disputes and squabbling can occur when your partner feels their demands aren’t being addressed. Even though you must remain loyal to who you are as individuals and partners, you must learn to communicate. Discussions should include both big and small issues.
Set aside time each day, away from the phone, TV, and other distractions, to pay attention to one another. When speaking, keep your eyes on each other. Never assume the meaning of something your spouse stated if you are unsure of it; always ask for clarification.
Never Go to Bed Angry
This is the most important advice from our “Tips for Couples Getting Married”! Disagreements are possible and inevitable. Even though you sometimes want to control one another’s actions, you can’t. You committed to accepting your partner for who they are. Does your problem have an impact on your relationship? If not, move on. How serious is the problem? Let it go if the only issue is that the toothpaste tube is squeezed from the middle rather than the bottom.
Don’t “play dirty” when you argue. It’s never a good idea to berate somebody in an attempt to make things right. It is “off limits” to discuss anything that happened in the past. Likely, your spouse won’t want to be with you if they are subjected to continual criticism and insults. Before going to bed, apologize and make up. Your relationship will become stronger if you learn from the mistakes that led to the disagreements.
Family and Friends are Important
From these “Tips for Couples Getting Married”, this is another very important one. Do not neglect your friends and family just because you got married. Your support network consists of these people. The purpose of your marriage is to improve your life, not to replace the connections you already have. Your partner fell in love with the whole person you were, including your friends and family. To revitalize your marriage, you still need to go on dates with them. Regular time apart can offer you discussion starters, strengthen your bond, and increase how much you appreciate each other’s company.
Avoid arguing in front of friends and family. Your friends and family have committed to helping you both through your marriage. They only see both of you together for a limited amount of time. They will build their own opinions of your relationship based on how the two of you interact. If you argue in front of them, they might get a bad impression of you and your marriage. They will back you up and keep playing a positive role in your life if they can tell that your love is strong.
Talk about the timing and frequency of your visits with each other’s families. Ensure that both families have equal attention in your schedule. With your own families, problems will also occur. It is your job to speak with the offending family member, discuss the situation, and request that they extend an apology to your spouse if they act in a disrespectful way toward your spouse. It will also aid in resolving the conflict because your spouse deserves that respect.
You are Both Important
Don’t take each other for granted. Try out an activity that your spouse likes; you might find that you both enjoy it. Additionally, it might improve your bond. Look good for each other. Go on date nights. Plan imaginative little surprises for one another, such as notes placed in lunchboxes or on the bathroom mirror. Discuss shared interests and pastimes. Above all, schedule daily time for each other.
Last but not least, put off starting a family if you can. Before starting a family, it is smart to be financially secure and have a solid foundation. Children are amazing, but they can be difficult. When the kids do show up, you must decide on a shared set of responsibilities. The task of changing diapers, bathing, feeding, and, as they get older, enforcing discipline, falls on both parents. Even so, cooperation is required. Work together to help bring up an amazing human being.
These “Tips for Couples” may help you start your marriage well, but the most crucial thing to remember is that they are only suggestions. It is up to you two as a couple to establish the ground rules and choose whether or not to adopt the suggestions as general guidelines. Every relationship is unique, and couples will choose various things to use as rules. There is no such thing as a “perfect” marriage, but if you put the advice you receive from different sources to use and work together, you can have a solid marriage.
Written by Ellen Crivellone of Smokey Mountain Sounds and the Smoky Mountain Wedding Association– We would love to DJ for your celebration! 1-865-712-1854
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